Julie DeNeen » Purveyor of Fine Opinions

I’m not ready to spill my big news yet. I know I left a teaser at the end of last post, but bear with me…there’s enough going on in my life for 1000 blog posts. I will get it out of my fingers sooner or later, but it’s too big to just throw out there […]

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  • Sandra Sallin - OK, the absolute worst thing about this whole relationship is drinking coke from a measuring cup.ReplyCancel

  • Emily - I love your current life list and I’m happy mainly about two things: 1) That everyone (you, Andrew, the kids, Alex, your parents) seems to be managing this “weird” transition in a healthy, mature way. Awesome. And 2). Rachel Ray?!!!?? That’s soooo cool – I can’t wait to see that clip!!ReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - happy to read that things are settling down…xoxoReplyCancel

  • Alexis Gambardella - I love this! Met my hubby on Match…moved in 2 months later…married 9 months after that! It’s amazing how these things work out! ReplyCancel

  • Glenda Clemens - Awesome! I love that your heart is alive and loving life in spite of no 401K.ReplyCancel

  • Chloe Jeffreys - You’ve been a very busy girl! As always, your honesty is refreshing. I prefer my people served up with a healthy slice of realism, and you always deliver in spades. <3ReplyCancel

  • Kristi Campbell - I moved in with my husband after knowing him for three months. And truly, Julie (a rhyme!), I believe with all of me that you all are handling this with the biggest grace, courage, thoughtfulness and love. And that’s really all that matters, ever. xoReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - WOW!!!! Oh Julie! Change change change… and you seem to still be swimming in these waves quite beautifully my friend. I love that you are happy. Albeit tired, but happy. And your kids? I see joy. And that is HUGE!!

    Sometimes… I really love how life goes. :)ReplyCancel

  • Kelly Roberts - “Too soon” is a relative term. I met my current husband about 6 weeks after my divorce from my first husband was finalized. We got engaged 6 weeks later, married 6 months after that and were pregnant 5 months after that. Fourteen years later and we’re going strong. ReplyCancel

  • Liv BySurprise - Jeez Julie- your kids look extremly traumatized and I can’t believe you moved him in so soon.

    Just kidding. Well done – sounds like they are adjusting well and thanks (in no part) to the fact that both you and Andrew are mature, sensible people. (Apparently that only works if you’re both sensible…)

    Oh…and thanks for making the rest of us divorced people look bad… ;-)ReplyCancel

  • Rena McDaniel - I love that you are so obviously happy, I figured it out when I saw the picture of the dinner. Let me tell you about soon. By now you know I have been very VERY happily married for 23 years. Hubby and I went to the same high school but we didn’t run in the same circles so we had only seen each other in hallways. nbd. On a Friday night I went out with my girlfriends for a birthday. My divorce wasn’t even final yet. I met hubby. We fell hard. We moved in with each other the next day and have never spent a night apart in all of these years. As in never not once! (we got married as soon as the divorce was final). It’s all relative when it happens when you meet that person and I believe we may love other people but there is only one true love but when it’s true love you know immediately. People that take forever are talking themselves into it. Who wants that! Have fun!ReplyCancel

When life throws you lemons… Cut ‘em up and use them with Tequila. That’s my motto anyway. I’ve spent the last three weeks in WordPress insanity. Back in September I started a trial to see if I had what it takes to work for them. And… It appears I don’t. Despite the great user feedback […]

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  • Rena McDaniel - While I am extremely happy that you are back I cannot believe the morons at Worpress! Wow! They have no idea what kind of computer genius they have lost! I went back and read the other post which I had missed so now I know how you finally met Alex but I’m probably the only person in the world who doesn’t know what Tinder even is. I’m glad that things are sort of working out least in the personal department and maybe one door closes another will open. If you get desperate I will hack my own site and have to hire to you fix it again! Speaking about that I did one of those anonymous computer checkups (a friend got a free one and gave it to me) so they went to my site and checked it out and I got a very good, very calming experience and they loved the purple. I swear the girl sounded like you haha! I was super excited about that though. My exhusband and now husband (damn that sounded weird didn’t it) were friends all of our married life it wasn’t a big deal to come home from work and they be at the kitchen table talking. I think that is what makes or breaks it with the kids, once they see how Andrew handled it they took their lead from him. Kudos to all of you for doing such a great job with them, sounds like it is going to work out great. I am sure the haters will be crying about that! Screw em” and save me some tequila!ReplyCancel

  • Alexa - I am so out of the loop! I knew you were MIA, but I didn’t know why. Glad you are back. Sorry the job didn’t work out. :-(ReplyCancel

  • Nancy Lowell - Here’s to new starts and though I’m sorry WP didn’t work out the way you expected, it worked out the way it was supposed to (at least that’s what I always tell myself).
    Best of luck in the new place, it looks great!ReplyCancel

  • Emily - That’s sucky about WordPress, but you are like a cat Julie and you always land on your feet (sorry to be so cliche – wordpress would probably not like that either). But seriously, I’m a big believer in fate and for whatever reason, it wasn’t meant to be. I’m glad you’re back in blogging land for now and I may even have another website design referral for you…ReplyCancel

  • Sandra Sallin - We’ve got you back. Yippee! WordPress must be some kind of idiots. You’re new home looks so bright and fresh and upbeat. Perfect place to start over. Welcome back!ReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Ok, wait a minute. What happened to the home you’re in? Is Andrew living there? And I’m sorry to hear about WP, but you’re a Fab Blogging rockstar. I hope you find even more success there.ReplyCancel

  • Anita Davis Sullivan - Well, junk. House does look amazing though!ReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Can I live in that house? It’s gorgeous! Our new house was gorgeous when the previous owners lived in it. Then we moved in.ReplyCancel

  • When Crazy Meets Exhaustion - WP doens’t know what they’re missing. They suck anyway.ReplyCancel

  • Kerry Rivera - I say a loss for WordPress. Love your optimism. Can you channel that my way? :) Can’t wait to read your next post.ReplyCancel

  • Jim Sharp - Glad you are back. Enjoy your posts.ReplyCancel

  • Sarah Honey - I’m sorry about WP! At least you know now and not 6 months from now. I’m excited for your new home and all the exciting memories you will create in your new space! (((Big Hugs)))ReplyCancel

  • Parri Shahmanesh Sontag - GREAT floors. GREAT countertops. BIG closet. That’s a win, girl! I’m happy for you and your wonderful new beginning. And it’s too bad WordPress doesn’t appreciate your talents … and wasn’t willing to mentor you in what the heck it was that they wanted. It seems like they didn’t give you enough of a chance to deliver! If that kind of stability is what you’re looking for, though, remember that a lot of the theme companies hire support people, as do hosting companies that work with WP, like Go Daddy. You are what is known as a “best kept secret!” And whoever lands you will be lucky to do so!ReplyCancel

  • Kim Lechleitner Miller - Sweet Julie! Glad to “have you back” so to speak! The new space looks totally awesome too! I can’t wait for the next post!ReplyCancel

  • Pete Vanlaw - Sounds like your WP mentor was afraid that you knew more than he did and was in fear of losing his job. Or that you would jump ahead of him.So, he put you between a brick and a hard place with no chance of ever being right. Not an uncommon situation in corporateland. But your new space looks “Simply Mahvelous!” Selfishly speaking, glad to have you back.ReplyCancel

  • Cristina - So can we guess?! That house looks beautiful! Right out if HGTV. We rent too. Have to. We ain’t got no time to fix, unclog or keep up with landscaping. I was so expecting a different surprise. I’m cut from a different cloth I guess you’d say, where the unexpected is just what’s needed. :) glad to have you back.ReplyCancel

  • Liv BySurprise - Too bad for WordPress – they are missing out. Glad you’re back though. ReplyCancel

  • James Peters - I think you’re one of the most interesting people when it comes to writing.
    I love how personal, raw & fresh your material is.
    I don’t comment as much as I should (sorry for that) but I do want to say that I try to catch as much of your postings as I can.
    Your talent inspires me to continue on “in my own world” and try new things.
    I thank you for that.
    Thank you, for being you.ReplyCancel

  • Chloe Jeffreys - Trying to please people who will never be pleased is both an act of futility and soul-crushing. I’m sorry on the financial end, but I do believe everything does work out in the end for the best. Most of the time, anyway. And this time, for certain.ReplyCancel

Julie here? You miss me? Well I’m alive — albeit a little harried. I try not to write garbage, so unless I have something really compelling to say, I just keep my mouth shut. I’ve learned something in my 33 years at least. There is so much going on — even on a daily basis […]

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  • AlwaysARedhead - My husband always goes shopping with me, for the simply reason he is far better at it then I am, plus it doesn’t help that I don’t enjoy shopping. As for the opening doors, pulling out chairs, always, mine is a sweetie too. I’m glad you found your bliss.ReplyCancel

  • Denise - I’ve got to guess that your guy has neat sounding accent too. So, it’s not surprising–American’s are fascinated with romantic sounding European accents. And most grown couples people see are past the lovey-dovey stage–I’m guess you two are just so super cute that people can’t help but admire you.

    Glad you’ve found joy. :)ReplyCancel

  • Emily - Awww…Jon once convinced me to buy a pair of Prada shoes. I had no interest, but he insisted. And, he probably has way more shoes than I do. Another man with a shoe fetish! :)ReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Oh Julie…. this entire post makes me so very happy… for you! I love that your man treats you like gold and embraces EVERYTHING in life and everything in YOU.

    I love this so much.

    Keep allowing the love to pour onto you. I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more than you, my friend.

    Alex- thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for being exactly YOU and discovering the incredible gift that Julie is. Keep treasuring her gold. :)ReplyCancel

  • Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine with My Morning Quiet Time? - Oh man, I know that heavy sigh. We’ve had arguments over the heavy sigh. It must be that Alex grew up in a different culture. My husband still holds doors for me. Although I still struggle with feeling like I owe him something when he does it. But that’s just my low self-esteem talking ReplyCancel

  • Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine with My Morning Quiet Time? - Oh man, I know that heavy sigh. We’ve had arguments over the heavy sigh. It must be that Alex grew up in a different culture. My husband still holds doors for me. Although I still struggle with feeling like I owe him something when he does it. But that’s just my low self-esteem talking.ReplyCancel

  • Chloe Jeffreys - You being happy makes me very happy. Being in love is the best thing in the world.ReplyCancel

  • Paul Tardiff - Ahh yes, European men are usually amazing. ReplyCancel

  • Rena McDaniel - I can answer that question very easily, I noticed it and commented when you first put your picture up of the two of you together. It’s LOVE. Your eyes look so alive instead of staring into a computer screen you’re finally living life on the outside and it’s like you are just waking up. Go with it, enjoy it and love the hell out of it and him!!!! Some haters will say it’s because it new or because you’re still married so it feels exciting. I say BULL FUCKING SHIT!!!!! When it is right, when it is supposed to be, it just IS. My hubby and I are the same way…still 23 years later. He’s my best friend and even though this last year we have been through such huge changes (becoming mom’s caregiver, being Social media active (okay addict)). He is still the other half of me, I feel it every single day. You are just feeling this. I know you loved Andrew and I, in no way want to discount that love, but you lived along time being unhappy. It’s like waking up out of a coma. Try this: find a picture of you taken a year or so ago, the one I thinking of, maybe a friends wedding you went to I think but any will do except with your kids, because you light up then too. You are smiling in the picture and so pretty but compare those eyes to the eyes of you in this picture. There is the difference and people can spot it a mile away. Some because the recognize it, like me. Others because they recognize they don’t have it, thus the curious and the haters. I wish you all the best, my friend and may your days be spent in the real world and not watching it through a screen. I have to remind myself of this sometimes too! I really am happy for you, I always have to root for love when I see it!ReplyCancel

  • Kelly Roberts - Your man sounds a lot like mine. And you can have complete confidence it will continue…my guy and I have been together 14 years and he still treats me like that. We are truly lucky woman, and we know it. Congratulations!ReplyCancel

  • Susan Zutautas - I say hang onto each other! A love story in the making :) I am so happy that you found each other.ReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - You both sure are in love :) Wishing you many blissful years together, Julie
    xoxoReplyCancel

  • Sandra Sallin - Your eyes say it all. Pure bliss.ReplyCancel

  • Liv BySurprise - Fan-frickin-tactic. A keeper for sure. ReplyCancel

  • Claudia Schmidt - Awesome. Some of it might be because he’s European. When I was in my 30’s I met and lived w/a wonderful Irishman for a few years and he was very similar. Good for you, ENJOY!ReplyCancel

The other night I went out to dinner with longtime blogging buddy Emily Cappo and her friend Jill. It was so nice to finally meet one another in person after so many online interactions, and I can say that most people I talk to online, are just the same in person. It’s refreshing! We had […]

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  • Emily - I can definitely see how spending time with foreigners can change your perspective. You really made some interesting points (and I just love that Dunkin Donuts example – so true!). And Americans being loud – yes you are right – now I’m wondering if I was too loud in the restaurant the other night…I’m blaming the wine.:) P.S. I just love that photo of us too, don’t you?!ReplyCancel

  • Kate - I am currently living in The Netherlands, and after being here for half a year already and having done quite a bit of traveling I would agree with a good bit of what you said! I used to always get dressed in my workout clothes, run my errands, come home and workout then shower for the day and know when I ran my errands I would still be better dressed than half the people out there…not true here. No one goes out unless they are dressed in proper clothes, and not as many women wear jeans here as in the US either I noticed. …and when we go to France or Italy I don’t wear jeans at all lol

    Living in a different country has definitely opened our eyes to other ideals and points of view…and telling people you are American doesn’t always garner you the respect you are grown up thinking it will, which I think was the biggest shock for all of us (me, the husband, and the teenager).ReplyCancel

  • Jill - Very well said! Beings able to talk about and experience the differences certainly makes for interesting conversation and learning. I wish more American travelled outside the US–might instill some much needed humility. There’s nothing like travel to drive home how lucky we are to be American (for good or for evil).ReplyCancel

  • Nancy Lowell - Embarrassed? All the time. Without getting into a political rant here, I will just say one thing; Michele Bachmann is a US senator. Yes, I am embarrassed, and not because she is loud, or has bad shoes…ReplyCancel

  • Jill Cowen Cahr - Very well said!ReplyCancel

  • Lisa R. Petty - Every conversation I have had when ordering from McDonald’s
    Me: I want a small unsweetened tea.
    MCD: A large is the same price.
    Me: I’m aware of that. I don’t need a bucket of tea.
    MCD: You don’t want a large for the same price?
    Me: No. I will only drink a small.
    MCD: OK. A small sweet tea.
    Me: No. UNSWEETENED.

    This is why we are getting chubby. ReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - So true, Julie. Sometimes, it takes going to a foreign country or really getting to know someone from another country in order to see America from a different perspective. The pastor from my old church came to America from Scotland and as they were bidding him farewell, a man got up and was pretending to be a typical American. He was wearing an all-white suit with white shoes, carrying a diet coke and talking loudly. HAHAHAHA! Reminds me of a televangelist.ReplyCancel

  • Paul Tardiff - Yeah the lips will definitely do it to you. Asuming they are cute and a good kisser.ReplyCancel

  • Lisa @ The Golden Spoons - I have only been outside of the US once when we went to Paris. It was amazing how small everything seemed – because we are so used to BIG. I think sometimes we forget how blessed/privileged we are because we are just so used to it. It’s good to be reminded sometimes.ReplyCancel

  • Rena McDaniel - First off I am so glad tnat it’s not only me who talks to loud and I’m Irish and female so we will go with that theory! I like it I have been saying this for years we want to teach our children anti-bullying. Someone should have taught the country that too. If you’re not like us we think should become like us. Don’t get me wrong I’m as patriotic as the next person I lived through my son being deployed for a year in Afghanistan and then he took an “easy” post in Japan and landed 2 hours before the Tsunami hit and spent his time cleaning up if you can only imagine. We think if we cant get the iphone 6 our lives suck. We have no idea.ReplyCancel

  • Brittany Bullen - Julie, Every time I go out of the country with my family (especially my grandparents!) I have to admit feeling a little sheepish about certain “American-isms” we commit unabashedly in front of the locals. That said, I love America and I always find myself homesick, even in some of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen. For all its faults, I can’t get enough of the red white and blue! ReplyCancel

  • Sandra Sallin - OK, we’re loud, eat too much, dress poorly but…. I know how greatful my mther and father were to be Americans. I know that I would not be alive today if they hadn’t come to America. Who saved Europe during WWI and WWII?ReplyCancel

  • Amy Flory - Funny Is Family - My husband’s field is full of foreigners, so our group of friends are from all over (including Romania!). I love the way topics are seen through the eyes of people from different parts the globe, and how our reactions are based on the lenses of our home cultures. I’ve changed my mind on a few things based on conversations with my non-American friends, but no way am I burning my flip flops!;)ReplyCancel

It’s Tuesday morning and I’m barely caught up from the weekend. I was trying to write a wrap up, but then I thought – who the hell cares what I did or what I ate right? Anyway, today is Evan’s 11th birthday! I can’t believe it. Eleven. That’s old. He’s growing up so fast. Everything […]

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  • Kate Hall - Holy crap, Tinder?! Okay, that just makes me laugh. Mostly because I recall a post about you and Andrew laughing at all the people on Tinder and now here you are. AHAHAHAHA! Awesome.ReplyCancel

  • Brittany Bullen - Julie,

    Good for you! These days it can be so hard to meet people, most of the people I know who are finding love these days are doing it in similar ways. It’s nice to hear of someone using Tinder for more than just a booty call (how my stepbrother uses it!) and as a child of divorce, I can say with confidence that sometimes finding the right person for you, although complicated, can be the best thing for your kids too.

    Best of luck with your new relationship!
    BrittanyReplyCancel

  • Sandra Sallin - Happy Birthday Evan. I am so impressed with his birthday menu. Asperagus is right. My husband stil wil not eat asparagus. Tinder? I have no idea what it is but it sound like you’ve got it together girl. Glad to hear you’re using your smarts. Good for you and your kids.ReplyCancel

  • Parri Shahmanesh Sontag - Wow, Julie. It sounds like you found a keeper! I’m happy for you!ReplyCancel

So I’m just warning you right now — if you don’t want to hear me gush, you’d better just get on up and leave, cause that’s what’s about to happen. Last night Alex cooked me dinner. First things first… “Can the boy cook?” Why yes he can. He decided to cook me something sorta kinda […]

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  • Steve @coolcathotfood - Oh course he can cook Julie. Why do you think most chef’s are male? We can all cook, we just don’t always admit to it. And yeah, protein is the way to go, we’re hunters, not gatherers!ReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - That looks AWESOME. I want to eat it right NOW. And what you thought polenta was CRACKED me up.ReplyCancel

  • Liv BySurprise - The one thing about being happy is you get fat. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. The good thing is if you’re happy you don’t notice. And neither does anyone else. ReplyCancel

  • Ruchira Khanna - i agree not using measuring cup is cultural thing…i too realized when i came to the US…in India it was always approximation and that’s how we learnt…lol

    I am glad he can cook besides many other qualities :)
    ReplyCancel

I hab a colb. That’s booger speak for I have a cold. It never fails, two weeks into school and I’m sick. Kids too. So here I am, tissues and cough drops in hand, trying to get my act together this morning. So I have some cool news to share. Several months ago, I applied to WordPress. […]

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  • Jackie - Good luck with the WordPress gig!

    Parenting classes for divorced parents? That seems slightly intrusive. Good luck with that, too :)ReplyCancel

  • Kate Hall - Crap, that’s overwhelming, but dang, the lawyer fees for a divorce (or anything, I guess) are ridiculous! I love your water bottle idea in the shoe holder on your daily. I might try that. Congratulations on the WP gig! WOOOOO!ReplyCancel

    • Kate Hall - Oh and on the parenting courses. When we adopted our kids, we had to take 10 hours of parenting and/or parenting adopted children classes. I totally get that, but when you’re on the third kid and have to take an additional 10 hours, it seems kind of ridiculous.ReplyCancel

      • dave - Remember, laws are made by rich people. They start out with no kids and a maid, have a kid and add a nanny, have a second kid and add a nurse and an au pair, have a 3rd kid and add a gardener, a doula, 3 more maids, 2 more nannies and a chauffer for each person including the nannies maids etc… So they figure that us average people might just need some instruction to be able to deal with things.ReplyCancel

  • Denise - CONGRATULATIONSReplyCancel

  • Denise - CONGRATULATIONS on the new gig! That is SO FREAKING AWESOME! So, what exactly do you do if you work for WordPress? Design new templates? Or something else. But if you respond, use small words. I think I’m blonde on the inside.ReplyCancel

  • dave - The same course is required for parents who were never married if there is a custody issue.
    I never base my opinion of someone’s intelligence on hair color. Aside from the fact that the belief in blonde dumbness is a fallacy, too many people dye their hair to be able to tell anyway.
    Way to go on the new job!ReplyCancel

  • Twindaddy - Congratulations!!ReplyCancel

  • Jenn - Congrats! You’ll rock.ReplyCancel

  • Sandra Sallin - Congratulations! I always knew you were way to pretty to be as smart as you are. :-) So happy for you. But that means that they’re really smart aso for hiring you. Happy, happy happy for you.ReplyCancel

  • Kerry - Congrats Julie! Sounds like the perfect gig! You’ll do “fabulous.”ReplyCancel

  • Icescreammama - that is amazing!! go you!! you’re going to rock it. ReplyCancel

  • Dana - Congratulations Julie! Clearly your blonde hair makes you awesome.ReplyCancel

  • Ellen Gale Williams - Congratulations on the job! You are amazing! And sorry about all of the hoops with the divorce. EllenReplyCancel

  • Cheryl Nicholl - Wonderful news! You’re best life is on the way! ReplyCancel

  • Kristi Rieger Campbell - Wha-hoo! Julie, that is amazing news! You’re so so going to rock WordPress. I’m really really happy for you! Big time! Huge-time and also I think the 29th is good luck – it’s my wedding anniversary (and I think Stephanie’s too)! Also, guess I better get that email together before you are even more busy! ;)
    Hope you feel better soon, too!ReplyCancel

  • Kirsten Jill Robbins - Congratulations on your new job. That is awesome, although I cannot say I am surprised at all. Makes me feel super cool and warm and fuzzy to have your working on my blog. And I’m sorry to hear about the other stuff. Been there and done that. ReplyCancel

  • Lizzi Rogers - Great timing indeed. Well done you :)ReplyCancel

  • Paul Tardiff - OMG girl, you are rock star and an inspiration to me. My Mom raised all five of us boys on her own and I turned out okay (lol). You will be fine and I’m happy that you did not involve lawyers. Your children will thank you when they get older, because lawyers suck and pit parents pitting one another, which sucks for the kids. What will you be doing for WordPress? My dream job is to work from anywhere on a laptop! ReplyCancel

  • Mandi Lite - Congrats! Sounds like it’s the perfect job at the perfect timing. Best of luck. I have no doubt you will kick ass. Why do people still underestimate blondes? ReplyCancel

  • Kelly Roberts - The stars are aligning. Good for you!! Show ‘em how it’s done, blonde style!ReplyCancel

  • Sarah Honey - Rock star!! Congrat on the new job!!! So exciting! More great thing are coming your way!! xoReplyCancel

  • Gunmetal Geisha - That is incredible news! Best to you.ReplyCancel

  • Liv BySurprise - Yay Julie Chenell DeNeen!ReplyCancel

  • Liv BySurprise - Yay Julie Chenell DeNeen!ReplyCancel

  • One Funny Motha - Great news! Congrats! You’ll knock it out of the park.ReplyCancel

Getting to know myself again is quite the event. I had no idea how insecure I really was despite my outward confidence. I had no idea just how much I crave a life unplanned despite my struggle with anxiety. I had no idea how much I cared for other peoples’ opinions despite my seeming disregard […]

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  • One Funny Motha - Yay! Good for you, and very well said.

    “It’s a good feeling to just let life happen instead of trying to control it.” Yes, it is, & I am currently trying to learn that lesson as well.

    Other people’s comments or opinions are going to get to you, but it’s your life not theirs. As for not living a “Christian lifestyle” – according to whom? They are not God. As the great Salt n Peppa used to say, “There’s only 1 true judge & that’s God so chill and let my Father do his job.”ReplyCancel

  • Pete Vanlaw - Julie, I applaud you. You’ve found a way to be honest and true to yourself under some pretty difficult circumstances. Never let go of it because it’s the secret of your happiness.ReplyCancel

  • Andrew DeNeen - I’ll add my 2 cents since I’m usually the “silent” person in all of this. You know better than anyone else that I’m never silent, I just don’t have a blog!! First off, I am very happy for you and Alex and trust your gut and decision making. You’re not a push over or naive and I know that better than anyone else in this world! We have been separated for quite some time and I’m so glad this has been a mutual decision process. No victims here – LOL. Divorce is not easy especially with the kids – but you and I are still friends as we have always been. I agree that letting people know sooner would have been beneficial – but hindsight is usually 20/20 isn’t it. Regardless the future holds a lot of hope for all of us even in the midst of hard circumstances. Hopefully everyone else in our circle can open up to that possibility after the shock passes. Great job as usual. And yes I have a date (-; ReplyCancel

  • Liv BySurprise - LOL…you reminded me of when I told my mother I was dating my husband. For various reasons, she immediately objected. But when I pointed out that I’d been single for three years, and this was the first time I was mentioning a man, she understood that I was serious. Well done on moving on with your life. Screw the scandal lovers. Live the way you want.ReplyCancel

  • Denise Welch - {Hope] things work out for you, but remember you are not an island. Hope does not bring security. Be sensitive to others.
    ReplyCancel

  • Lance Burson - Hang in there and keep putting yourself as first as much as you can. In cheering for you. *fistbump*ReplyCancel

  • Divorced Kat - I don’t know what I want to say but… HELLS YEAH. The best I think that any of us can do is to work on being self aware; the more we honestly look inward, the more we should be able to see what we need to work on and what is pretty damn awesome the way it is. I guess that’s what I took away from this post — your self awareness.ReplyCancel

I’m over the white picket fence happy ending story that girls are spoon fed from the ripe old age of 6 months. I did everything the right way. I knew Andrew for years before marriage. We dated the “proper” way {I put that loosely in quotes}. We had the children and the dog and the […]

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  • Tammy - Love is elusive. Happy endings even more so. We generally get what we put up with. You made the right choice and your future decisions belong only to you. The only people who you need to consider besides yourself are your kidlets. Take care of heart, home, and most of all, YOU. Life has a way of bringing us what we need. Protocol be damned! Just live happily, Julie. The rest will come. *hugs*ReplyCancel

  • Denise - I just started following your personal blog–I’m a Bloppy fan of your web tips. Now I’m gonna have to go dig in your archives and see if there’s more details…

    Anyway, take it easy with the new guy. He’s gorgeous. Make sure you guys click on all levels before you get committed again.

    I’m so sorry your first marriage lacked spark. So here’s a question for you…what would you recommend for your kids? To live with someone a while, or have a long engagement? I dated my hubs through college, so though we didn’t set up a household, we were together 24-7. 18 years later, I’m still in love with him. Though some days I could totally fire him out of a cannon. Eh. No one’s perfect.ReplyCancel

  • Caitlin - This was a great read. As a young woman who seems to be going about life the “wrong way”, it’s always encouraging to see others be happy not following the rules. Good on you!ReplyCancel

  • davromega - Shoving oneself into a box to fit society’s vision of what you should do/be is about the only wrong decision one can make. The rest of ones decisions usually fall along the spectrum of good to bad(with a few holy fuckin’ shitty decisions in there as well). The problem with right and wrong is the same problem with black and white or even sane and insane… there are only polar opposites not shades of grey, as most of life is.
    Once the decision is made to end a relationship, the two involved are no longer a couple. In some instances a relationship can be over for years before a decision is made. Why should one have t wait for a piece of paper to acknowledge what has been fact for some time? As long as one feels comfortable in the decision to date again there is nothing inherently wrong with that. As long as your children know you love them, there is nothing wrong with bringing someone else into your life.ReplyCancel

    • Julie DeNeen - You make some very good points Dave. I like how you think. And what you said at the end is true. The kids need to know that we love them…forever…no matter what.ReplyCancel

  • Tana Bevan - Julie, it’s your life. Yours and yours alone. Obviously you want to do right by yourself and your kidlings and those you care about. Still, as women we are reared (brainwashed) that we’re at the bottom of the priority list. Truth is a happy mother makes for a happy home. A happy person makes the world a better place to be. You have a lot of people (in person and through cyberspace) who are rooting for you (yours truly included). Claim your happy. Revel in it!ReplyCancel

  • Chris Carter - Okay- after scanning the comments to see only “Kim” said anything about this guy… I’ll be the one to say what we are ALL thinking:

    DAMN HE’S HOT!!!!!

    :)

    Julie- I love this. I love your genuine truth. I love that you have the courage and the strength within to share it, own it, honor it, cherish it- because truly? That white picket fence is just a symbol I believe. It wraps around our lives- all of our lives. If that fence isn’t TRUTH, then ain’t nobody happy in that house where they dwell.

    SO glad you can finally pursue your ‘real’ white picket fence to wrap around your life. Lots of people, are captive of theirs because it is not NOT their truth. Imprisoned in their false intention or purpose or identity. It feels a bit to me like you are breaking free and rebuilding that fence my friend.

    Keep on renovating and rebuilding. That fence will radiate all that you hold to be true.ReplyCancel

    • Julie DeNeen - He’s totally going to get a big head because I told him he was hot and he was like, “Nahh…” and I’m like, “Dear Lord you don’t get it do you?” Thank you Chris!ReplyCancel

  • Mary Anne Tuggle Payne - You go girl-look kids can’t be fooled these days -you a good momma and have a hot new dude WOOTReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - Do what you think is best, that’s my policy. It’s your life. You get to choose. Hey, much happiness to you! and your kids! And Andrew! So shall I say it? Alex is pretty damn hot. Just sayin’.ReplyCancel

  • Jen EM - My parents marriage ended when both of them were already seeing other people. My father was seeing a woman he would eventually plan to marry … but she died before they had the chance. You don’t know how much time you have until it is gone. Don’t let other people’s rules drag you down.

    P.S. – My mom found her second husband years before the divorce was final. They’ve now been married for fourteen years. They’re the most annoying couple I know.ReplyCancel

  • Rena McDaniel - Good for you Julie! Only you can decide what will make you happy or not! Just know that real friends will stand behind you no matter what you choose!ReplyCancel

  • Nancy Lowell - Good for you!! ReplyCancel

  • Cynthia Wright - Good for you! You look two look great! ReplyCancel

  • Amy Landisman - There’s nothing that drives the judgy people crazier then watching you being happy all up in their miserable faces! Keep it up!ReplyCancel

  • Kim Lechleitner Miller - I gotta say it Julie. I can’t help myself. Andrew is a total hottie but Alex? Aye carumba. You sure know how to find the hotties hon! So cool that you dealt with the questions head on from Eliana. Mary Anne is right, you can’t fool kids nowadays, and honesty is always the best policy. Glad that all worked out.ReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Barone Jankowski - You do you, girl. Congrats on the happy :)ReplyCancel

  • Cheryl Nicholl - The hell with the book of ‘This Is How It Should Be Done’. Write your own. You Rock. ReplyCancel

  • Kelly Roberts - You know, we’re all different people every day. You could probably say every hour or every minute. It’s because we’re having to make constant choices and every choice we make requires us to put on a different hat, walk in different shoes and sometimes speak in a different language. How in the hell can anyone think there is one (or even ten) “right” way to do something? There simply isn’t. And that’s a beautiful thing because it means we can start over every day, every hour, every minute. We can do better when we suck and we can practice being awesome when we nail it. So you do what YOU think is right for YOU and everyone else with an opinion on your choices can just take a flying leap. So glad to see you happy!ReplyCancel

  • Ina Smith Zajac - I love your honesty. The older I get the less I care about morality constructs. ReplyCancel

  • Dana - I’m happy for you, Julie – Alex is a lucky guy!ReplyCancel

  • AlwaysARedhead - If you are happy and your kids are happy and the new man fits into this picture, go for it. You only live once. Plus not one of us is perfect regardless of our past (and no I really haven’t read yours).ReplyCancel

  • Jhanis - You go girl! I’m feeling giddy for you!ReplyCancel

  • Herchel S - Be yourself and be happy :)ReplyCancel

  • Vicki L. Hodges - Julie, I’m so happy for you! We never know where life will lead us. Alex has a sweet face and kind eyes. (And is very good-looking!)ReplyCancel

  • Liv BySurprise - Congrats Julie! That’s fantastic news!ReplyCancel

  • Claudia Schmidt - So glad you met someone, and may I just say he’s gorgeous?! Enjoy…..ReplyCancel

  • Emily - I’m really happy for you Julie! I’m also happy that you and Andrew are feeling the same way. I know what that brother/sister thing feels like – I had that with an old boyfriend and although you love them, you also know you do a better job being friends than you do being a couple. So, I truly understand this. And, is it inappropriate of me to say Alex is hot!?? :)ReplyCancel

  • Carmen Doerr - I have been married to my second husband for 29 years now and I have been the happiest woman on earth. I can only wish you the best with your new partner, lover and friend because that’s what it takes to live a long life together~ the best for you both!!!ReplyCancel

  • One Funny Motha - Damn, girrrl.

    I think I said it b/4 but good for you. You are doing the right direction. Kids know. They always know. It’s best to be honest w/ them even if you;re not ready.ReplyCancel

  • Sandra Sallin - Dearest Juie, I’ve been trying to figure out the just the right thing to say. Been going over this for days. Then I decided bottom line. I love you kid. I’m with you on what ever ride you take. I know you have the brains, love and sensitivity to work this all out so that you and your children are conforted and know they are loved. Tough times but your a tough person. You can do it. You can do it with heart and soul.

    Just know I’m there.ReplyCancel

  • Corinne Rodrigues - Oh he’s a looker alright! But I’m glad he’s good for you, Julie. I am always blown away by your authenticity. ♥ReplyCancel