You all have to promise to not hold any of this against me. After all, my job is to design websites and teach people how to use social media. It would only stand to reason that an addiction would form because of all this learning I have to do.
So today, I’m yakking (on social media of course) with the hashtag #ImSuchASocialMediaAddict I….
And then you have to fill in the blank.
Hi my name is Julie and I’m a social media addict because…
- I take my iPhone to bed so I can check it first thing in the morning.
- I take my iPhone to the bathroom when I have to poop.
- I often (and almost) wet my pants during the workday because I’m like, “Just one more tweet!”
- I talk in hashtags in general conversation. “So today, I had a horrible day. Hashtag kill me now.”
- I also use hashtags when I’m privately texting someone.
- I’ve got my iPhone outfitted with a way too expensive extra battery pack so I’m never without a connection to the Internet.
- I’ve got four devices at my computer – an iPhone, an iPad, an iMac, and a MacBook Pro (I think I should also write a post called Confessions of an Apple Addict).
- I talk to strangers far more than I talk to friends.
- I can tell whether I’m getting Tweeted, FB messaged, or Google hangouted by the sounds my phone makes.
- I use social media platform titles as verbs. “Did you Facebook me today?”
- My first instinct when I have nothing to cook for dinner is to get on Pinterest.
- When I’m feeling socially awkward at a party, I hop on Instagram, take stupid photos, make fun of people, and alienate my real life family members.
- Everything, and I MEAN EVERYTHING, is grounds for blog material.
- I get all my news from Twitter.
- I check Google plus notifications at stoplights (only the long ones).
- I steal quotes from all the books on my bedside so I can sound intelligent on those graphic memes.
- I have cord chargers in every room in the house.
- I made my husband triple our bandwidth because after all, “It’s a business expense” (and I need to be able to do Google hangouts and look awesome).
- Five of my besties are people I’ve never met.
- I pick out what I wear based on the Instagram selfie I’m going to take that day.
- I pick fights at the grocery store so I can tweet about it.
- I also let my kids pick fights with each other so I can blog about it.
- I don’t do the laundry so I can take a photo of it on Instagram and complain about how I don’t do housework because I’m a social media addict.
- Filling out the forms at school, I automatically add the @sign in front of my kids’ names.
- When the electricity goes out, I immediately pack up my devices and roam from public place to public place until I find Wi-Fi.
- I feel left out and lonely when I watch TV streaming on Netflix because I can’t follow the hashtag twitter feed like in Primetime TV.
- I bitch about Facebook on Facebook.
- I think I’ve done all sorts of reorganizing of my life when really all I’ve done is pin cool organized containers on Pinterest.
- My brain thinks in terms of #, @, and +…oh yeah…and <3.
- I automatically smush words together and capitalize them. SnapChat and PicMonkey and HashTag and BuzzFeed do it, why can’t I?
- The 2 and 3 on my keypad always wear out the fastest.
So what say you? Are you a social media addict too? Find me on…guess where…social media! Hashtag #ImSuchASocialMediaAddict and confess!